Dear Yvonne:

I hope this “Marriage Separation Limbo” resolves soon and that you will have the chance, the time and social support to heal and recover from your heartache.

Reads to me that long before her affair she was not as happy as you were in the marriage, that the communication between the two of you was limited for a long time. Reads to me that she cares about your feelings, that she is suffering too, and that she doesn’t see much hope for the future with you.

If you somehow accept the ending of the marriage best you can, with as much calm as you can, and communicate that acceptance to her, she may be more open with you (and with the couple therapist) and express more about what is happening with her and what has been happening in her mind and heart for a long time.

anita