Dear Craig:

You wrote that she has raised “two very nice kids”- doesn’t mean they are two emotionally well kids. I hope they are, but nice does not mean healthy. Lots of kids act nice in the company of strangers because they have to, because otherwise they will be punished later. Maybe, just maybe you look up to her in some ways, not seeing all there is to see. What you shared here about her thinking and interacting with you cannot possibly be only in the context of a romantic relationship.

You wrote: “change is one of the few things we can rely on in life”- except for something that remains amazingly the same, something amazingly resistant to change: our core beliefs, what we believe from an early age. That remains the same for decades, most often lifetime. It just doesn’t change without intentional, ongoing, persistent work through a long, long time.

anita