Dear ElaMel:

I didn’t understand the financial arrangement. You brought up the question: “am I being used?”

As far as the money, the numbers you presented as part of your question, how much money will you be paying for rent, per month is the question. Doesn’t matter what his mother calls it, in practicality it is rent money. If you pay as much as other lodgers, then you are not used. If you pay more, than you are used.

His  mother came up with this complicated explanation of basically charging you rent. She didn’t have to, as it is her right to ask for rent money. The complications she came up with indicates to me that she is not direct or honest in her dealings. Not that she intends to financially deceive you, but she is not honest about her intentions, which could simply be, to charge you rent.

Your boyfriend having been afraid that you will leave him, being so anxious about the thought of not being very close to you leads me to think that he didn’t feel safe growing up with his mother.

Are you worried that your boyfriend is using you or that his mother is using you… or are the two the same, that is, your boyfriend is submissive to his mother?

anita