Dear Derek:

You are very welcome. You did very well recognizing this core belief being triggered this very morning. You heard something and it was triggered causing you distress. Pay attention when that triggering happens in the context of your relationship with your partner. When it does, do not automatically or impulsively react to the distress by saying anything at all. Pause and think before you say anything to him.

This is the practice: pay attention, notice the triggering, pause. Calm yourself and rethink.

In therapy, I hope you examine this core belief. Formal education has, in reality, value. You can’t get many jobs and pursue many careers without this or that formal education. Many people cringe when communicating with a person who uses poor grammar. And so forth. Maybe it will help if you explore this issue yourself, in writing (here or elsewhere), and figure out what formal education mean to you.

anita