Hi dreaming715,

You just described the story of my life. I have EXACTLY the same situation, only I live closer. But it’s true. WE initiate. My husband said just this morning, “I feel like we’re family members on the Lost Horizon.” Out of sight, out of mind, a concept.

Well, I wish I can tell you it gets better. My father is now literally dying before my eyes, and hallucinating, so no closure from that source.

The best WE can do is strive to be better than our family of origin. Vow to give, rather than get. I will be in my children’s lives even if they hate it, even if all I can do is wave to them from the shore. It helps to keep in mind that every person is different. You just have the same type of people in your family, unfortunately.

I’m convinced that God created holidays, weddings, funerals and baptisms to force family members to interact with each other and to remind them that the others exist.

Text THEM on their birthday and invite them to the holidays at YOUR place. (Even if you know they won’t come! You, too, exist, have a life, are detached enough to only text as well, yet magnificent enough to summon them hither.)

Good Luck!

Inky