Dear None:

You didn’t bother me. I am back to your thread first thing this morning and hope to understand better. I will quote from you and follow the quotes with my input.

You wrote: “he was really warm to me when I was feeling really bad and when there was nobody around…we talked for hours (mainly I was complaining….he hugged me which made me feel really warm and kind of happy as I have not received such an affectionate attitude for a long, long time.”- clearly you need someone, a man, to be there for you when you feel badly, someone that you can talk to, someone to hug you. You have so little of these things in your life that the little you received a long time ago, you remember so well.

You want to contact him so to get these things again but you are afraid that he has a girlfriend and you “neither want to be the fool that is writing to a man that is with somebody else”

You wrote: “I apologized to him several times for taking his time for my problems” -you feel unworthy of his time.

You wrote: “most of the guys would spend time with me just because I am not talkative, yet I listen to others’ problems”. When you tried talking about your problems to these people, their responses to you was that you are “either crazy and imagine things or get insults”-

When in the past you did talk to guys, what you received back from them were insults, being told you were crazy and imagine things and the relationships were over.

On the other hand, this guy “spoke in a way that he could not offend anyone in any way”-

What is clear to me, None, is that you need someone to kindly, attentively listen to you, a person who will never insult you, never tell you that you are crazy and imagine things. A person who will show you nothing but respect. Someone who will express to you that your thoughts make sense and that your feelings are valid and understandable.

* When you talked before to the men who told you that you were crazy etc., I don’t know if indeed you were under the influence of drugs (a previous thread) or alcohol (this thread) or if otherwise you tend to express yourself in ways that appear crazy.

Quality psychotherapy with an attentive, respectful and wise therapist is my advice. A warm, kind, respectful therapist who will teach you how to communicate effectively, lead you to value yourself, value your thoughts, your feelings, and choose to have people in your life who will respect you, people you can express your self to honestly and effectively.

anita