Dear Sapnap3:

I am posting this about 14 hours following your last post and it may be after the conversation with your boyfriend. I  wonder  what happened (or what is happening as I type this) and hope you will soon share.

You wrote that you were planning on telling him that you don’t want to  marry him, that you were rushing that way so to “get my mother to  love me”, so that “she  will begin to love me”.

I figure your focus now is on your boyfriend, not on your mother, but notice this: your mother, in your brain and in your life has  been more powerful a factor in every part of your life, and has been the cause of your emotional struggles throughout life. Even though she is not physically  present in Ireland, and in the room where you are talking  to your boyfriend, she is  very  much there nonetheless, and  the relationship with her needs to  be attended to.

All of your efforts to get her to  love you have to be  abandoned.

anita