Dear Newlifestartsnow:

I think you should assert yourself with this friend (if friend is a correct word here). Tell her that you will not accommodate her anymore in the ways that you have. Tell her that not in an apologetic tone or way and not in anger, but in a matter of fact way, firmly. Look her in the eyes as you say that. It may be scary for you to do  so, but it will be a great exercise and is likely to make you feel so much better about yourself.

Assertiveness is a necessary skill to have, to aim at, to practice, to get better at with practice.. a necessary skill to have in our quest for well-being and a good life.

You don’t need to apologize to a person who is misusing you, as if saying: I am sorry that I don’t want you to take advantage of me. Instead, you state: I will not let you take advantage of me.

I hope you post again.

anita