Hey Patrick,

The problem is, I don’t have too many friends left. A few years ago some things happened behind my back with my ex, they all knew about it, there was a lot of drama when I found out, I confronted them about it but most of them didn’t see the problem with it, so I cut ties and moved on because they weren’t real friends anyway. Most didn’t even try to get back in touch with me…

I’ve been trying to rebuild friendships, but doing so as an adult is so much harder. As a kid you walk up and say “Hey, wanna play?” and you can make a new friend for life. As an adult… not so much…

I’ve been trying to schedule events to hangout with co-workers, including the girl I’ve fallen for, but everyone is always so busy or makes excuses for why they don’t want to go out, leaving me to do things on my own.

So I’ll have to find another way to distract myself. I tried talking to the girl last night but she seemed standoffish and didn’t really reply to my messages… well… she did, but it was a simple “I’ll ask the others when I see them” and the other was a simple “lol”. So the way we talk has become basic and boring, its no longer a two way conversation.

At this point, talking about how I feel or trying to learn more about her just doesn’t seem beneficial if she clearly doesn’t want to text back or hangout anymore… Maybe I’ll just avoid talking about things and try to leave her alone (easier said than done…).

I’ve been talking to another girl, cute red head, jolly personality, nice body, very fit and works out a lot… but, I’m not really interested in her and she has a 9 month old kid. I don’t really like dating women with kids, I don’t like the idea of raising someone else’s kid and the extra responsibility. But now that I’m getting older it seems like EVERYONE has kids now. *sigh*

I might just have to bite the bullet and try to cut the first girl off cold turkey until I get over her, then settle for dating someone with kids.  Ugh… Life isn’t very fun right now. 🙁

My Horoscope for the day is scarily accurate-

“A friend or lover might seem a bit reserved today, leaving you to wonder why there’s an emotional gulf between you. However, you’re not sure that direct confrontation is a viable strategy for healing now. Instead of sharing your concerns, it feels safer to just put your energy into busy work around the home. Although this tactic is great for productivity, the underlying uneasiness wont go away until it is addressed. Life coach Tony Gaskins said, Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Without it, it dies.”