Dear joanna:

I used to feel amazed at the thought of me being a good person, not that the thought occurred to me much. I remember now, on this website a few people suggested I was a good person, that felt like a new idea, something not considered before. Reading such comments did not lead me to consider such. An alien idea, it was. I believed I was a bad person.

I was wondering yesterday while on a walk, if, when interacting with this man, as in during the last visit, if you did whatever it is that you did (I do not need or want details) because you wanted to please him. I wondered if it pleased him and has pleased him during the years, that you presented yourself to him as less worthy, as someone deserving of mistreatment.. if that made him feel good.

What do you think?

Will refer back to the exercise later, remind me if you want.

anita