Dear joanna:

What you wrote, your last sentence in the recent post, means a lot to me.

It so happens you stated the key to healing in your recent post: “This gave me some relief at that time, and helps me sometimes a bit. A bit is a lot, it’s something”, and “Those simple words give a bit of hope”.

To heal, to persist in the long process of healing, it is necessary, at one point onward, to be okay with that bit, that little something sometimes. It is a bit by bit process, a bit of realization here, a relief, a calm… then the distress is back, then a bit of a realization there, a bit more understanding, then we forget.. and a bit more later.

When people rush, expecting a bit of a relief to expand immediately into a happiness-ever-after existence, that expectation derails a person from the process of healing.

Regarding Tom, if you want (I don’t know if it is a good, bad or neutral idea), share about him/ the relationship more. Maybe there is something there to see better.

anita