Dear joanna:

In case you are confused about the post above, the member posting it started her own thread with the same post, so it seems like it was posted on your thread as well by mistake.

As to your question, I thought about him damaging you, but after being away from the computer, walking, I thought: Joanna might think I meant that she was damaging him (because of your core belief).

And then I was considering it: is it possible that he is damaging you and you are damaging him?

Considering it, I know he already let you know that he has a girlfriend and that he is not interested in you as a girlfriend. Let’s say the following is true: he contacts you when he wants to have sex with you. When you agree, he comes over to your place for that purpose, the deed is done, he leaves and does not contact you until the next time, weeks or months later, when he suggests coming over to your place for the same purpose.

Let’s say, these are the things he doesn’t do: call you for any other purpose, ask you about your thoughts and feelings about him and the interactions with him, wanting to know what you think, feel and want otherwise; ask you about the details of your life; go out with you in public, movies, restaurants, walks, events and such; share with you his thoughts and feelings (other than wanting sex), suggest further contact at the end of a meeting, such as saying “I will call you tomorrow”. When you call him or text him, he does not answer, or answers coldly, not in a welcoming way, unless he called you first and you are returning his call.

Is this the case, if not, correct my description. How long has this situation with him gone on?

And, what do you want from him? What do you believe that he wants from you?

anita