Dear Anita

If I may ask, what was that your mother blamed you for, that you call “her misery”? Was it some specific thing in her life that she accused you of causing, like you being a child and making her life miserable because she, let’s say, couldn’t lead different life, and had to raise you instead, or was it more everyday life resentments, venting about random things. Sorry if this question is poorly asked. You can ignore it, obviously you don’t need my permission to ignore it, just saying it’s fine, just occurred to me so I asked.

I admire your strength and your persistence, which I can see when you describe your experiences, but also when talking to me. You’re calm and strong. I admire your persistence and patience. I wish I had it, and I wish I had it towards myself too. I wish those thoughts of you being a bad person started to occur less and less, and I wish you would acknowledge and notice more moments when you are being a good person.