Dear Missxm:

You mentioned  meditation earlier- meditation is one way of learning  and practicing  emotional regulation and it will help you.

It will also help to understand your motivation better, regarding abusing partners. You feel anger at them, wanting to hurt them. Why, is  what  I ask myself. If  you would like to look more into it, we can look some more into it here. Tell me about  your thoughts during the times you told your partners mean things. What were  you thinking before you said those things?

anita