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Hi Anita,
Yes I have been on/off with meditation for a while but I am forcing myself to make it a part of my daily routine now because many people have told me this will help including my therapist.
I wish I could explain in detail why I want them to hurt I really don’t know. I get so angry and a part of me thinks they should just take it? my sister is 9 years older than me and I also watched her treat her partner this way and he took it. Sometimes I feel like my partner needs to love me and all sides of me including that but my logical mind know how selfish and pathetic that is! When I am angry the only way I know how to get rid of it is by being mean or angry towards my partner. I end up saying terrible things and then saying sorry 5 minutes after. Maybe I need to try harder to control it?
I spend most of my days worrying about this…it’s really starting to drain me…I feel it’s gotten worse because of how much I stress about it
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