Dear  Missxm:

As I wrote to you before, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with a man until and if you can control your behavior and not mistreat the man.

There is a way or ways to feel angry at a person, to want to say mean things, to be  all triggered and  upset and yet, to say nothing. Take a time out, go elsewhere, take a fast, long walk so to release that energy. Basically, remove yourself from the man’s presence immediately.

It takes enduring distress without reacting to it by saying  anything at all, suffering without passing he suffering on to another.

You suggested that you feel that a man should accept all parts of you, including  the angry-abusive part. You did it for your father, accept all parts of him?

Will you share more about your relationship with your mother?

anita