Dear joanna:

To see what I learned so far from communicating with you, all you have to do is re-read what I wrote to you so far. Every time I articulated something to you, it was a result of new thinking, often a new way of looking at something, a deeper way. It is all over the thread. The fact that your mother and my mother have so much in common makes it more of a learning experience for me.

By ending up with Tom I meant that through the thread there was no other man but him who you communicated with, the only one you wrote about in the present tense, the one you expressed feelings for and about, and the one you had physical relations with. I didn’t mean that I think he will turn into a loving, committed man for you. I have no reason to think that is likely to happen.

If you didn’t live with your mother, if you healed from the shame she inflicted on you and still does, free from the guilt she inflicted on you and still does, then you will think differently, feel differently and behave differently. Your life would be different and an unloving, selfish man will have no part in it.

*Will be back in about fifteen hours.

anita