Dear joanna:

Yes, this is what I am saying.

She inflicted so much damage on you that staying for more of the same-old-same-old doesn’t make sense.

As it is, your mother owns your life.

You are still waiting for her to tell you what is and what isn’t. For example, on some level of knowing, you know that she yelled at you repeatedly in the past when you were doing homework. On a deeper level of knowing, you don’t know it because she said later on conflicting things about her behavior when you were doing homework. So… you don’t know on a deeper level what really happened until… she tells you clearly.

So you operate in the dark, knowing the truth on a superficial level (that dry, academic like knowing), but not on an emotional/ believing-it level. You are stuck in not-really-knowing.

What are your plans: to stay in the flat owned by your mother where she lives sometimes? To live there until your grandparents die and then, with your mother permission (since she has some ownership rights) move to the house where they live?

You have a part time job teaching, making very little money. Any employment plans?

Regarding men: any goals regarding being in a loving relationship?

Ever wanted to move far away from your mother, ever tried to..?

anita