Dear Lisa:

I think you made a couple of very good points that didn’t occur to me just this way before:

1. “I would never belittle or be irrationally irritable with them based on their own personal style of speaking, humor… unless it was insulting towards someone”. This point reminds me of how often I heard my mother belittle others and express irrational irritation, even intense anger, toward people because of their personal style, the way the dress, or walk, the way their talk, the way they looked, even though these ways were not insulting to anyone. My mother expressed this in words and tone, gossiping a lot about people, expressing her disapproval and irritation. I did the same mostly thinking about it, but then, my irritation must have been expressed somehow.

I have become more accepting and hope to continue to be accepting and tolerant of what you call fittingly, “personal styles” that are not insulting to anyone.

2. “I also wouldn’t single people out for criticism and allow others to do whatever they want. If I feel something should be done a certain way then I expect that from everyone”- very well stated, for me. This is a very important element of Integrity.

I see that although the nuns mistreated you, the fact that they mistreated everyone the same way was comforting, as the element of equal treatment was there. I see how irritating and troubling it is for you to be treated differently than others, I see. I understand it too. I like the principle, equal treatments of others.

Thank you for this informative and teaching post. Excellent.

anita