Dear Anita

You’re challenging me with those questions. But that’s okay, thank you for that, it’s motivating. What has changed since then..When my mother yelled at me couple of months ago I was quiet and cried in my room, almost always harmed my face, couldn’t function normally until her mood improved and she “liked me” again. Now when she yells, I say aloud to her that she has issues and it’s not my fault, and I won’t tolerate that. (She denies it but now I KNOW I’m right ). I also am sure I want to live alone, which I couldn’t imagine earlier, also earlier she wouldn’t let me make that decision. I talked to her on the phone today and told her I want my own flat, and she again said it’s okay if I want to take those money and buy it. She didn’t mention the fact or the reason I would want to live separate from her, all she mentioned was a cat, she said “But I won’t see him, I will miss him”. She didn’t even say anything about not seeing me, I think she is perfectly aware why I want to move out, and that’s because of her. (The same as in situation with apologizing for doing homework, she is aware what she does to me. Anyway that’s a surprise)

My current job would allow me to pay bills (I started working in language school , more hours) but I want to look for something better anyways in may.

Goals or dreams: I would like to have my own place, and live my own life, and be forgiving to myself which I believe would stop or limit my self harming habits. I want to try.