Dear Kai:

You wrote: “I don’t know if he is ‘The One’…I don’t feel like I’ve ever had a shout from the heavens or something about us just meant to be together.”

My input: there is no heavens or something like heaven. There is no entity that predestined you to be with one particular man. There is no such intention out there. And there is no The One.

Is it that 50% of marriages in the U.S end in divorce (last statistic I heard, long ago). And isn’t it that within the 50% marriages that last a lifetime, many aren’t happy- that is a whole lot of people, many millions of people, who were not The One, after all.

I think that a lot of what happens is random. All we can do is learn who a person is, who we are, communicate well, evaluate compatibility of values and motivations, help each other, work like a team, make it a Win-Win relationship, no fighting, no aggression.. and you are likely to have a good, lasting relationship.

anita