fbpx
Menu

I dont know if he is "The One"?

Home→Forums→Relationships→I dont know if he is "The One"?

New Reply
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • April 2, 2018 at 3:36 pm #200603
    Kai
    Participant

    I read online about other people knowi g when their SO was the one. Ive been with my boyfriend for 10 months now And I dont feel like Ive ever had a shout from the heavens or something about us just meant to be together. I ask myself this alot and it kind of wears down on me. Sometimes I think to myself “No, I dont think he is The One” and yet I can never let him go even with those thoughts. Other times I just deep down feel the need to stay or be with him, and that we can make it last. So I never really thought if he was the one or not, but I can see myself being married to him and having kids with him, definitely. Im just worried if my intuition says otherwise. I tend to lean on it alot, But I cant make heads or tails of it when it comes to this.

    April 2, 2018 at 10:01 pm #200625
    Mark
    Participant

    Kai,

    All we have is this Present Moment.  I find that it works best for me to focus on that especially when it comes to worrying.  Worrying is about the future, not right now.

    Mark

    April 3, 2018 at 3:47 am #200643
    Airene
    Participant

    Hello Kai,

    I agree with Mark that what you have is where you are at this moment.  You are questioning whether your boyfriend is “The One.”  What is making you question that?  Is it something in his behavior?  Is it something you are missing and wish you had – he isn’t romantic, or he’s too romantic?  He’s needy or not needy enough? I urge you to give it some thought and then talk to him.  If you can’t both communicate at this stage, it will only be more difficult the longer and thicker you get into your relationship.

    You say at times, deep down, you “feel the need to stay or be with him.”  Does that need stem from you feeling safe and loved by him, or does it stem from insecurity – on your part or his?

    It’s also worth pointing out that while some people do hear a shout from the heavens that this is the person they are destined to be with, these relationships sometimes go the distance and sometimes they don’t.

    Airene

    April 3, 2018 at 4:43 am #200651
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Kai:

    You wrote: “I don’t know if he is ‘The One’…I don’t feel like I’ve ever had a shout from the heavens or something about us just meant to be together.”

    My input: there is no heavens or something like heaven. There is no entity that predestined you to be with one particular man. There is no such intention out there. And there is no The One.

    Is it that 50% of marriages in the U.S end in divorce (last statistic I heard, long ago). And isn’t it that within the 50% marriages that last a lifetime, many aren’t happy- that is a whole lot of people, many millions of people, who were not The One, after all.

    I think that a lot of what happens is random. All we can do is learn who a person is, who we are, communicate well, evaluate compatibility of values and motivations, help each other, work like a team, make it a Win-Win relationship, no fighting, no aggression.. and you are likely to have a good, lasting relationship.

    anita

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.