Dear Jonathan:

She shared with you that she walked on egg shells around her mother. Likely she feels that she is walking on eggshells around you (we inaccurately project people in our childhood into people in our current lives). That was probably the case before, in between her short periods of revival, of feeling good.

You wrote about the way it was: “it was worth standing by her side”. This has changed: it is no longer worth it for you, to stand by her side.. or sleep by her side on the same bed.

In regard to the way it was, you used the pronoun we to describe what took place. This has changed: I don’t think she wants you in her life as a partner. She may want you as one providing her with a home for her to live in, maybe one to help her if she needs help in the future, the ways you helped her before.

If there was honestly on her part, the way it was, that is no longer the way it is. She hid things from you and is hiding things from you, not telling you her whole truth, far from it, reads to me.

Your emotional health is suffering.

Do you see what I see, that she is not honest with you, that if you could read her mind, you wouldn’t like what you read, not at all?

anita