Hi MeowAnna,

When he is gone so much, you are losing the emotional bonding and closeness you had with him. When he leaves, because of the childhood trauma you expressed, not being very close to your mother, not alot of warmth, and your father leaving alot is now hindering your current relationship. The feeling of “pushing your boyfriend away when he comes back” is in a way, an unconscious way in what you did of resentment with your father when he left and abandoned you so many times.

This can be explored further with quality Psychotherapy. It will help you understand how your childhood and lack of closeness with a parental figure will impact any future relationship with a man. Also, when your boyfriend is away, is there any way you can “video chat” or “Skype” each other every day, so you can keep the emotional bond and be able to see him still everyday?