@Anita What you said about not reacting anymore, I think I am at that point in my life. I feel like I have distanced myself from the bad experiences in life to the point of not caring about whatever happened.

In a way, this belittles my younger self’s choices. Most of the times I feel like a new person but its scary and thrilling at the same time…like I don’t even know who I am anymore. A collection of selves or some sort of divine master controller lol.

Sometimes, in my darkest moments, the person I used to be does take over and this has happened countless  times before as well. But this time I don’t fight it. I let it rage out. I observe its triggers and motives. And this has helped me a lot to take control of the situation.