Hi Emma,

I am so very sorry to hear what you have gone through and what continues to happen with this man– you are SO strong for coming onto the forums on TinyBuddha and for starting to speak out about what happened to you!  I know that right now you are very scared and you feel alone in this, but I promise you– I believe you and I see how much you are struggling, you’re not alone as much as you feel like you are.  People are out there who WILL believe your story and what happened to you.  I also want to make sure you know that this is in NO way, your fault.  Regardless of whether or not you were at one time dating.

You are so strong and resilient and it’s clear that you want to get help for yourself– having the help of these two paramedics is also a great place to start.  It’s really good that you are trusting your own boundaries and have not necessarily opened up to them in person about this until you know more about who they are and whether or not you can trust them with these personal details.

Mark mentioned one organization, RAINN, which is one good place to start.  This is a national organization that has a lot of good information and people to talk to.  You can call them directly which is SAFE and CONFIDENTIAL– your phone number will not be visible to them:  800.656.HOPE (4673)  If you would rather speak to them online, you can access a Chat forum which is also confidential here:  https://hotline.rainn.org/online/terms-of-service.jsp

I would start here and see what information you can get from them and make the most informed decision you can for moving forward– depending on what state and city you are in, they are also other resources/organizations specific to your area for Rape and Assault.

Please feel free to e-mail back on this chain as often as you need!  The TinyBuddha community is happy to help in any way we can and we will be here for you as you go through this process.

I hope that this helps–my thoughts are with you!

Amy