Dear Peaches:

I read your recent two posts. I understand why you are so cautious, careful. You stated very clearly that you will not commit to him (and I assume this applies to any man) “until I know for a fact this time will be different than the rest. Otherwise I can stay single”

What I suggest is that for the purpose of maximizing your chances of heaving a good relationship, different than all the rest, before, that you ask him questions and listen to his answers, share with him your fears, your thoughts and listen to his feedback.

How else will you get to know him better and evaluate, over time, if indeed it is likely to be different this time?

I understand that it is difficult for you to open up to him, but again, I don’t see any other way for you to learn about him, to know who he is, if he is indeed trustworthy and a good potential partner in life.

There are no guarantees, of course, but you can do a whole lot to increase your chances of a good relationship, to make a good choice.

You mentioned his driving record. Any man will have about his life and past things that are not desirable. Some of these things may be deal breakers, other things manageable in the context of the bigger picture.

What if you asked him what he thinks of you, what he believes he knows about you. I wonder if he knows much about you and if what he knows is accurate. You can check that by asking him. If you do, prepare that he might ask you the same. This could be an interesting and very informative exercise.

anita