Dear Stuttering John:

Earlier you wrote (not in this exact order): “I’ve done a lot of soul searching and found many ways that I have failed her…I failed her by taking her for granted and not being around as much as I should be… I’m trying to improve those as we speak… I’m exhausted…she also refuses to go to therapy so I just started going on my own to keep my sanity in check:

And then, the bombshell (your post before last): “I was a monster just angry at her and the kids all the time”.

Assuming you mean that you expressed your anger at them aggressively, my goodness, you didn’t fail your wife, as you wrote, by not being around more, you failed her by being around at all (“I failed her by.. not being around as much as I should be”)

If you were that monster, then going to therapy should be more than a place to “keep my sanity”, but a place to correct your severely abusive treatment of your wife and kids.

I sure hope, very much so, that you will no longer abuse your kids and wife. I sincerely hope so. I hope you not only improve in this regard, but display no aggression whatsoever toward your children and toward your wife.

Will she get her loving feeling toward you again? I don’t know, but I can’t imagine that she will not deeply appreciate a monster turning into a good man. And then, I hope your children will heal and so will your wife.

anita