Hello GC,
It might help to take a step back and consider whether your anxiety is what is making you find reasons to leave the relationship, or if you are simply unhappy with the relationship.
I also think it would be good if you can find what you yourself are looking for in a relationship – not just the attributes you look for in the person. At all costs, find what works for YOU. Not your sisters, and not your mom.
There are zero guarantees in anything. If your thought pattern is to always search for what could go wrong, you will miss all the things that are going right.
Your thought that if you were with the right person, things wouldn’t be this difficult is a little off the mark. Because no relationship or person is going to always feel “right.” There will be disagreements and little things your partner does or says that will make you think you are not with the right person. And you might want to change a person, but that never works! You need to be able to accept the person as is…the good with the bad, the ugly and the pretty. Wanting to change someone is a great way to take the focus off yourself. When you find yourself wanting to change something about your SO, think instead about what it is that you need to change within yourself.
When you think that it might not work out, what is the worst possible thing that you think could happen if it doesn’t work out? Would you be an emotional mess? Lose a limb? Turn purple? I’m not making light of this, it’s just that if you are focusing on the fact that it might not work out, you again are missing out on all the good, fun things in the relationship.
If you are having trouble letting go of focusing on the relationship and dissecting it, you might have to accept that this is part of who you are.
Wishing you the best,
Airene
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 