Dear Jezz:

You asked: “I know it’s not true but I still feel like I’m walking away from a POSSIBLY good man if he changes. Why?”

My answer: because when we want something badly, we believe it is possible. The intense emotional desire that he will be a good family man for you makes you believe.

It reminds me of the song in Disneyland, in the section of it called Fantasy Land:

“When you wish upon a star * Makes no difference who you are* Anything your heart desires will come to you”

When the heart desires something, logic moves aside.

I am thinking, it is not only that you desire and wish he will be a good man for you, but you also don’t want to do all the hard work of moving to another place, having no man in your life, etc. The easiest and simplest solution would be if he … changed.

One more thing that makes it difficult and confusing: there is a possibility that he will change. It is such a small possibility, maybe 0.05% (I am just guessing), but still it is not absolutely 100% certain that he will not change.

I hope you post again, we can keep communicating as long as you want.

anita