Dear Cali Chica:

My week is fine, thank you.

I think that what is happening may be the following (let me know if it is): when your mother did what she did, said what she said during your childhood, she excited you, that is, she triggered a neural excitation in your brain and as a result, your whole body’s excitation.

This excitation was not a pleasant one. It was fear. Ongoing fear is anxiety. Your brain did its best to quiet that unpleasant excitation, naturally.

All excitation now feels unpleasant, at least, most of the time. It is so because the brain does not differentiate pleasant from unpleasant excitation, it automatically mutes any and all excitation.

anita