Hi Katie,

This man is very controlling. He uses tactics like “if you loved me..you would” then apologizes. Then he compares you cruelly to his ex. This is a way to control you. A very toxic and unhealthy person. He sounds as if he may either had some bullying done in his early years by parents, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, or have been bullied in school, all which was unresolved and carried over into his adulthood. He is looking for a victim, not a healthy relationship with a wonderful woman. This is definitely not someone you want. I know you are in pain and hurting now, but imagine a few months, years down the road if you stayed with him..the abuse cycle would continue unless he gets into intensive psychotherapy.

You can’t fix or change him, only he can, and only if he wants to change. None of this has anything to do, with “his ex, being better than you” but his own low self-esteem and jealousy/insecurity issues. Please don’t go back to him, you would only be miserable. You would be constantly walking on eggshells waiting on his next “temper tantrum” if it’s not about his ex “being better” or you being at a friends, he will surely think of something else to degrade you about. Surely, you don’t want this for yourself? You hold your head up high, be strong, and find the loving, healthy, stable man you deserve and don’t settle for a man like this. x