Hi Katie,

I wish I knew the answers, but we know for a fact, that things with him are not going to get better. The thing to do, is to tell yourself, to no longer be in “victim mode” this will help you heal, and move forward to the loving, and safe, healthy relationship you need. How? By changing your vocabulary. No longer ask “why does he??” there could be a million answers as to why he does what he does, but you can’t make yourself dwell on the “why’s”. It won’t get you anywhere, but resentment, unable to let things go with him, frustration, unable to move forward, stagnant, etc. Another, is not to worry so much about “getting hurt even more” another victim role which will keep you angry and stagnant. He has all along been hurting you. It’s time to leave and be at peace once and for all. Another..living in the past..such as “my family knows or knew we wanted to get married..so why..??” again.more victimization and stagnation in your part, because this is no more. Again, all the “why’s” won’t make him change. He won’t stop his behavior. I know deep down you know this. No need for answers, he won’t change, it’s over..in the past. You have to move on and find the love you so deserve.

I have been to Costa Rica. It’s beautiful. My Dad sent me there for my High School graduation present. He was building low cost housing there. I also got to take a helicopter and train ride (although it derailed), to Panama Canal and Guatemala. Stunning places. Go on the trip, but no expectations of “getting back together” or the trip will be ruined for you. Give him a taste of his own medicine. I remember many nice looking Latinos there, they are friendly. Flirt, and say “dammmn” to your hearts content. Go talk to some men right in front of him. Lots of sexy dances there..have one..a tango with a cute latino! Why not? If he can do it, why can’t you? Have the time of your life. When you get back, casually thank him for the great trip and have no more contact with this man, the longer you prolong it, the harder it will be. Keep us posted. x