Dear Annabelle:

You wrote: “My sister is very angry that I have set the boundary and pulled away. She said she misses when I would try to talk her out of these relationships… I’m not going to continually argue with her or try to convince her she is making poor choices”-

It seems to me that she is indeed angry, still, at her parents, and still is rebelling against them, currently, by having a relationship with the convicted sex offender. Her  motivation is to get attention. When you attended to her by arguing with her, trying to convince her she is making poor choices, she felt supported, the word she used, because she got attention.

In other words, she is making poor choices for the purpose of getting attention.

Hungry for attention, “She seemed jealous of (your) children”.

Your sister, reads to me, didn’t mature much since she was a child. Being jealous of your children and acting unkindly toward them is reason enough to protect them from her presence. She is not mature enough to contain her jealousy.

It is your very withdrawal from the caretaking role of her that carries the best chance of her making better choices. Give no attention to her poor choices, no arguing, no talking about it, no response, and she is more likely to abandon the poor choice than otherwise.

anita