I felt as you do when I was younger.  Youth is an uncomfortable time, and some never do find their way.  Let that sink in, some never do find their way.  The key for me was to face all of the uncomfortable feelings and inadequacies and continue to soul search until I found my way.  The more awkward and afraid I was to face it, the longer it went on.  Only when I allowed myself to feel the pain, was I able to make my way through it.  It’s embarrassing and humiliating to stumble along, but it was exactly what I needed to do.  It was a kind of stage fright for me, and I wondered if I was different than others because I was so troubled by it.  I know I am more introspective than others, and maybe that’s why it was at the surface for me, but I’m not sorry now that it was.  It was the beginning of my spiritual awakening.  It’s the impatience of youth that made me want to have everything now, but some things come with time, and they came with less struggle when I surrendered to them and left my timetable behind and the comparisons to others, because what I saw on the surface wasn’t always the truth about them.  You will find your way my friend, have faith.