April 20, 2017 at 8:29 pm #146107
You are welcome, H. Wishing you to be and become your own person (it is not easy or simple for many..)
anitaApril 20, 2017 at 9:11 pm #146115
Thank you, Anita.
I wouldn't mind if you could please provide some tips for a happier life. You seem quite knowledgeable.April 21, 2017 at 2:23 am #146129
“Perhaps one day when I learn to love myself things may change – Do you have any tips in this department? In learning how to love yourself?”
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VJApril 21, 2017 at 10:19 am #146203
You asked for “tips for a happier life”-Since “Drowning in my own loneliness” is the title of your thread, tips will have to attend to the issue in that title.
But in a recent post you wrote that some people are meant to live life alone and that over time, you will get used to it (words to that effect). And you wrote that your goal is career advancement, and nothing else, as I understood it.
So, when you ask for “tips for a happier life”- do you mean how to advance your career (I have no tips regarding that), or do you mean ho to be lonely and happy? Or how to not be lonely?
anitaApril 23, 2017 at 10:01 am #146343
This may seem counter-intuitive advice, but..
What if you had your parents have a hand in setting you up with someone? You instinctively follow their lead at this point, so instead of fighting it, have THEM introduce you to someone! I bet there are plenty of educated Persian women out there.
InkyApril 23, 2017 at 5:35 pm #146363
Thanks for the thought – but I'd rather undertake the process of finding my soul mate by myself.
Anita – I would love some advice on how to be lonely and happy at the same time.April 23, 2017 at 7:55 pm #146389
I have no advice on how to be happy, not in any context. My advice to you before was to attend psychotherapy so to start a process that will lead you to well being. But even then, there is no such thing as being happy all the time, not even most of the time. It is not natural to be always happy.
I aim at feeling calm, not feeling distressed. This is good enough for me. Happy still makes me nervous.
How to hurt less when you are lonely- I do have advice on this, how to hurt less: do not try to feel differently from how you feel at any time. Don't resist the feeling. Endure it and it will pass. Resist it- and you add to it, make it last longer.
It is like when you have a foot cramp. It is better to just accept it and let it happen and then pass, than it is to panic, try to not feel it, contract, resist.
Whatever you feel- accept it, don't fight it, let it be.
anitaApril 28, 2018 at 9:04 am #204619
I felt as you do when I was younger. Youth is an uncomfortable time, and some never do find their way. Let that sink in, some never do find their way. The key for me was to face all of the uncomfortable feelings and inadequacies and continue to soul search until I found my way. The more awkward and afraid I was to face it, the longer it went on. Only when I allowed myself to feel the pain, was I able to make my way through it. It's embarrassing and humiliating to stumble along, but it was exactly what I needed to do. It was a kind of stage fright for me, and I wondered if I was different than others because I was so troubled by it. I know I am more introspective than others, and maybe that's why it was at the surface for me, but I'm not sorry now that it was. It was the beginning of my spiritual awakening. It's the impatience of youth that made me want to have everything now, but some things come with time, and they came with less struggle when I surrendered to them and left my timetable behind and the comparisons to others, because what I saw on the surface wasn't always the truth about them. You will find your way my friend, have faith.