Hello Peaches,

The fact that you have so much insight as to the changes you want to make puts you light years ahead of most people.  Good for you.  I can relate to so much of what you have expressed in your post.  I am an introvert, and still, at my age, am a bit awkward, shy, quiet.  The difference between how I am now versus when I was 27 is that I am totally completely okay with who I am. And IDGAF, really, honestly truly, who likes me and who doesn’t.  Or why.  I like myself.  And that is where it starts.

Where you say this, “I want more than anything else than to move freely and be my best self without fear of ridicule,” see above. I also think most people – in spite of how they present themselves – fear rejection and ridicule.

My IDGAF didn’t kick in fully until after I had been through some pretty traumatic experiences and came through landing solidly on both feet. Those experiences gave me a lot of confidence. I made a lot of mistakes, but I also did a lot of things right.  And I kept trying, never giving up.  I don’t recommend going through trauma to become a fully realized, accepting version of yourself.  Here are some things that have brought me to where I am.  They might help you bypass the trauma part and help you take the pressure off yourself:

– Know yourself.  What are your strengths, weaknesses, liabilities, assets?  Embrace them all.

– Know who you are dealing with and what they are capable of and respond accordingly.

– Accept that not everyone will like you and you will not like everyone.  You can still be kind.

– When you are feeling pressure, try to figure out if the pressure is something internal that you are creating or if the pressure is external.  And respond accordingly.

Your idea that a man might find an introverted woman somehow less worthy is simply not true.  When you are happy with yourself and confident in who you are, it won’t matter if you are introverted or extroverted anymore than it will matter if you have purple hair and 11 toes.

Airene