Hello Cranberry,

Just a couple of thoughts…

Feelings are just feelings.  Not right or wrong, stupid or smart.  We feel what we feel.  But we can decide what to do with those feelings – we decide if we act on them or not, if we hold onto them or let them go.

Sometimes we hold onto the relationship because it is what we know.  Sometimes we hold onto it because it neither hurts us or brings us joy, but we’re not ready to leave it.  Do you think you cling to the idea of your ex because it was something so good, or because it was something familiar?

Your statement that closure does not exist is accurate, I think, because right now, you are seeking the closure from your ex.  Your closure will come when you decide to give this closure.

You say logically, you know you should not follow him.  It takes great strength and self-discipline to do this, but your thinking about this is spot on.  What can you hope to gain by following him?  Will it bring you peace and closure?

You end your post by saying you want him in your life.   By holding onto that, you are keeping yourself from moving forward, and missing out on meeting other people and other experiences.  Consider that by moving on, good things await.  Act as if you are bringing closure to this.  Act as if your life is moving forward.  The significance of him and this relationship will diminish with each step.

Airene

• This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Airene.