Dear Cali Chica:

The way we felt in the past at any one moment is about the awareness we had at that moment.

For example, an unloved child was miserable much of the time but felt really good during a family barbecue get together. Was he really happy then? Yes, at that barbecue he felt loved. He wasn’t really, giving the bigger picture of before the barbecue (let’s say he was screamed at to get out of the way as his parents prepared for the guests), or after the barbecue (he was screamed at for being in the way of cleaning). But at the time of the barbecue he felt loved because his parents were nice to him… in front of the guests.

During the barbecue, the child is not thinking: I am not really loved. The child needs to feel loved, so he feels loved and feel good.

Years later, decades, he will look back with nostalgia, remembering the barbecue. Until he sees the bigger picture, the before, during and after.

When we do heal, when we see the bigger picture, aware of more and more of reality, we lose the nostalgia.

anita