Dear Cat:

It is okay for you to live for yourself. Absolutely. It  is  the right thing for you to live for yourself.

Your well-being is the  most important thing in your life, your primary responsibility. Your well-being should be your highest priority. Attend to it as the number one  item in your life. Always, number 1.

I am well, thank you. It is very good to read from you!

Regarding  your health assessment appointment  tomorrow, I was wondering if my second April 23 post to you (starts with: “I read a lot of your posts..) which includes quotes from your thread, will help in the assessment. I am referring  only to the quotes, your own words. Maybe if you print that or copy and paste into an email, that might be helpful, to see your thoughts  and feelings over time, in your own words.

What  you wrote is  very  profound: “I am intense with  people, and focus on others too much- because the reality is, when I  am by  myself, when  I am calm- I hear their (parents’) voices… ‘Awful’ ‘Selfish’…These voices are pretty  consistent throughout my waking hours”

I know these  voices, still hear them. But not as  loud, not as  often. It took a lot  of time and work,  lot of being mindful, and then, being more  mindful and patient, to identify the voices even when the  words  are not  clear, to counter them with reasonable, true thoughts and later,  to recognize the voices and disengage. Healing  is possible, still ongoing for me. And it is just as  you wrote it  is, “so hard..  So hard.”

This healthy decision you made the  other day, “to wake  up and live  for myself”- it will take  making this  decision every day, multiple times  per day.

Live  for yourself,  Cat. It is the best  thing you can do.

Looking  forward  to your next post.

anita