Dear Prashanth:

I understand your objection to the arranged marriage practice.

And I understand your desire “to find a girl on your own, earn her love, and bring her to your parents… through work, or during travel.. To be able to get to know a girl, without interference of parents, to learn about each other”.

I understand that would be your preference. Problem is you are interested in a woman with no relationship history- this is very important to you, so how can you meet a woman with no such history, I ask myself. It didn’t happen so far and you are soon to be 30. How is it going to happen?

You wrote that women with no such history are interested in arranged marriages, so I figure there it is where you can find a woman with no history.

You wrote that an arranged marriage is “more like buying sheep in a market”. Taking your analogy, what if the two sheep in one particular arrangement only appear like two sheep to the families, to society but not to themselves and to each other?

Because reality is what it is, maybe there is a way to work with it. You can’t change it, so maybe make it work for you.

I don’t know if it is possible, especially reading what you wrote here: “There is significant pressure on you to not break an engagement and what if you get to know someone and not like them after engagement?”- don’t have an answer to that.

What is not working for you though is waiting. Got to find a way to look for the woman you want, to effectively look for her. Look for her in a place where it is likely enough to find a woman with no relationship history.

anita