Dear Anita

We met on online dating, we feel clicked each other. I am introvert person, but I can be myself when we together. We laughed a lot, so many funny moments together (I still remember it until now). He’s very different from my another exes whose barely made me laughed.

6 months dating, we had our first fight. He was coldfever, vomited (if I am not mistaken)  and need to go to doctor. That was middle of the night, and I was so worried about him. I called him like 5 times, texted him a lot, but he angry ” I am in hospital , could you just shut up, don’t disturb me!”  he said. I was shocked, sad at the same time, I cried. Next day he disappeared for 2 months!  I don’t understand what I did wrong. Am I too noisy? Am I too worrysome? My friends said he’s just not into me. Two months ahead, I initiated contact, he replied.  We met and he said sorry, I forgive him and back together.

Six months later, he suddenly disappeared again!  As IT engineer he used to work overtime, usually 11 night until morning. We usually had chat when he’s overtime , but at that time he didn’t,  so i am curious where he is at 2 early morning. I called him 3 times, texted him, suddenly his phone turned off, then he just disappeared for months (again). I put down my ego and initiated contact, he replied, said sorry and so on.

By the way he is 3 yo younger than me, raised by single mom, his father passed away when he’s 5 yo. He has introduced me to his friends, but never to his family. He said that her mom doesn’t allowed him to bring girl home unless he is ready to marry. That’s 360 degrees different than my mom,  she’s such a type of always want to know her daughter’s bf, insist me to arrange dinner whatsoever but I denied because I want him introduce me first to his family then I’ll do the same. I never know where’s exactly his home. I asked him about it, he said you already know from my ID card.

Then, last ghosting behavior  was only one week, after we had a fight. I think because I wasangry he was too busy, I accused him doesn’t prioritize me. I said sorry and love him  ,can we work this out, but he ignored me for one week.

Fight after fight been through, finally I asked my friend to stalk his social media and found pictures of him with another girl. He was tagged and like that pict (means he hide it from his feeds). I was so mad and send him that pict, he said it was when we broke up, but i found picture was taken on january 2017 and we are still together in that time. I don’t know which one is truth. Deep in my heart says only God knows.

We had up and down moments, when we away mostly I initiated contacted. I cried a lot when we fight, he never saw me cried.  I refuse to give up on him. Sometimes I feel he doesn’t love me wholeheartedly, if he loves me why he ignored me when I reached him out.

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