Dear Cat:

I like it that you are honest. I like it very much. Reply when you feel like, when you want to, don’t when you don’t feel like it. No time requirements for replies on my part, no requirements and no demands whatsoever on my end.

Your moods change. The principle behind the behavioral part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as I understand it, is that we focus on what we do have some control over, and that is our behavior. We do not have control over how we feel, not before we do a whole lot of healing.

If you are able, focus on your behavior. If there are things you need to do that are helpful to you, do those things regardless of how you feel. Let’s say you feel completely unmotivated to make yourself a cup of tea, move your body anyway toward the kitchen and make that tea, step by step, movement after movement. Maybe you will feel dissociated, watching yourself from the outside making that tea. Be it, watch yourself, feel weird, but do it anyway.

This practice will build in your confidence in your ability to take good care of yourself no matter how you feel.

anita