Hello koko vega,

Can you tell us one or two specific things he is asking you to change?  Is he asking you to do more of something or less of something?  Or to do something you are not comfortable doing?

When he asks you to change something, a good response could be, “I will work on myself, you work on you.”  I see this a lot in different couples…one person in the partnership takes on the “job” of changing the other person.”  There is a fine line between a) supporting a partner who is trying to change something and b) making sure their partner changes so that they themselves are happy.

The only person you can change is yourself.  Say this to yourself and also your partner.

Airene