Dear Bella:

I think we all do that: we see in other people what we need them to be and we turn a blind eye to what we don’t want to be true. You saw him as a loving man because sometimes he was, I suppose (aren’t all people sometimes loving..). But you closed your eyes to those red flags you mentioned, the shows of his significant lack of empathy to others.

Just like he was indifferent about his ex wife’s misery, he would probably be indifferent to yours if you express it to him again (telling him he is a scum bag etc.)

Maybe he will, as you already suspected in previous posts, enjoy seeing you miserable. Maybe that was his intent in that comment. It is not unheard of that people intend to hurt others.

Moving reads not like something you are ready to do any time soon. But Moving on from seeing him as he was not and is not- that is something you can do now. You can move on from seeing him as a loving man, and so, there wasn’t much of a something that you had together, a something that once gone “everything is falling apart”.

Nothing much there, nothing falling apart when it is gone, in reality. What do you think/ feel?

anita