@Kathleen Thank you so much, your words are spot on and I could feel them in my soul. ♡ Thank you for the encouragement to stay strong, that has been the hardest part, and I am proud I haven’t caved in defending my rights to my life. Thank you so very much ♡

@anita Thank you for your wise insight ♡ Love is very important to me, sometimes I don’t think people understand how important no matter what I do.

I did have the realization that many of my best friends make me feel the way toxic ‘exes’ made me feel, and as soon as their power was cut off (thank you, I didn’t realize that until you wrote that) they became distressed because I wasn’t “the same as before” and “who I was”. I tried to explain this was my time to change and grow, I needed love and support from them and I am still met with anger.

I appreciate this help with clarity.

One of my friends has been very close for four years. She was my first adult friend that exposed me to a whole new world and mindset.

As I write this I am starting to understand that I feel like she helped me be who I am so I owe her. Now that I am on a path to my own new world, she doesn’t understand.

Always in her eyes things will be my fault even if she doesn’t know she is blaming me.

I could write about this for a long time, nobody feels like they did wrong or should apologize, and I feel I have apologized for my part.

I just feel like I don’t know how to proceed with friendships in general now, I cannot find a balance yet.

Thank you for reading and commenting, it helps more than you know.

♡sunchild