Dear Sapnap3:

Welcome back!

You wrote, “He is ok to walk away from us because he is afraid or is it just me?”-

If I understand correctly, like you, he also thinks the flat in the center of Dublin where the two of you live is too small, but he won’t leave it, won’t get a driver’s license so that he can live in a bigger flat, or house, away from the center and drive to work. Correct?

I don’t think he likes changes. He also did not like the idea of moving to Chicago with you. And he doesn’t like the idea of marriage. He doesn’t like changes. He is the least distressed, the most free of anxiety when things remain the same.

In your previous thread we talked about your relationship with your mother, how you’ve been chasing her love for so very long, how fruitless that chase has been. You mentioned how important marriage is to her (particularly given the cultural emphasis), and you expressed back then, in March, that you may be willing to live with him without getting married.

A few months later, you pursued marriage again, while visiting your mother (correct?)

What will you be doing next, move out to another flat in Dublin while still working there, later to move to Chicago, to your condo… and have your mother live with you in Chicago later?

anita