Dear Sapnap3:

Your mother said to you recently: “I should’ve just aborted you when I had the chance. If it weren’t for your father, you would’ve never been born”. But you didn’t break up with her, didn’t walk away from her. You decided to walk away from him instead (“That’s when I decided to walk away from us”).

Some time ago, in 2016, I think, you told your parents that a neighbor (who was at the time you told them a handyman they used to hire) molested you sexually, repeatedly, when you were a young child, six, if I remember correctly. Your father was quiet but your mother said that the man who molested you repeatedly charged less than other handymen and therefore she will keep hiring him for his services.

Her concern was paying less for handyman work, not for her little girl having been repeatedly molested.

Your most current attitude regarding your mother is “I, don’t chase it (her love) so much any more. My feelings for her are of respect”.

For as long as you chase your mother for love, even if it is less chasing than before, for as long as you respect a person who severely disrespects you, you do have issues that you bring into a relationship with any man. You simply cannot be emotionally healthy when you keep respecting a person who severely disrespects you, still.

He brings in his issues, you bring in yours.

anita