Hi Tiny Butterfly,

I completely relate. My dad has Alzheimer’s and has been on a steady decline since his early 60s (He’s 75 now). It’s like watching a slow and painful death, I know.  The good news (I know right, how can there be good news) is that for me, going through it with him and watching the father I knew slowly disappear made me appreciate that seed of him that is always there, you know? Do you ever experience that with your mom? Over many years, gradually,  I let go of him as I remembered him all my life. I was forced to adapt to the person he is. And now, I really, truly, treasure those moments I have with him where he’s my dad again – they come like a flash, then they’re gone. And I’m ok with it, well not totally but I’ve accepted it I feel. My dad makes me appreciate life, every moment, because honestly one second he’s right there with me, and the next second he’s gone.

The whole thing is a process. I understand the anticipatory grief; maybe you’re worried about your health? But you can’t predict the future. We have to suffer in our lives to understand the pain of loss, and appreciate people when they are here. My dad has taught me that. You can only live right now. And you must!  Parents dying is a fact of life. Everyone experiences it–so please reach out whenever you want.

Also you’re doing an amazing job caring for your mother. Just remember that. So many people in this life have no one to care for them at all, and just by being there, loving her, is enough. Trust that she knows that, and is grateful for you .

Take it easy, tiny butterfly. Do something you enjoy today. Send you good vibes:)

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