Hi Maxine,

Are you married to this guy? I’m asking for practical reasons. Divorce is expensive. I don’t know if your state is a common law one. I would encourage you to move the kids to a small apartment that’s all your own. Quietly let your lease run out. Have the kids live with you. HE will be on his own. No judge is going to let some pot head have custody of the kids. This way he can parent them on the weekends perhaps. Don’t worry about him fighting you on this or taking you for all you have (he doesn’t have the motivation for it. He can’t even finish school.)

People remain stuck at the age they were when they started using pot. So this would be like, say, a fifteen year old trying to go to college and parent two kids.

You also don’t want your older child to (surprise!) become a pot head and repeat the cycle of a Life of Coasting or marry a man just like dad. You also don’t want your younger child to (also?) internalize that s/he is not worthy of attention and is an irritant.

Good Luck!

Inky